A Weak Kind Of Strength
by Serendipitous-Slug
Summary: After leaving his house Sirius goes to live with the Potters. Away from his old life he begins to realize new things about himself...  Terrible summary and the title is in the works. :  SiriusXLupin
1. Prologue

"You're breaking my heart, Sirius, breaking my bloody heart!" The witch paced back and forth frantically in the small parlor, her black hair clutched tightly in her veiny hands.

"Mum, you're not listening to me! I can't live here anymore – I just can't. All your pure-blood talk and bigoted-" Sirius took a deep breath. Once he had calmed himself down, he tried again, softly saying, "Mum, I'll be back for Christmas, I promise. I just can't stand another day of her."

As if on cue, the clipping sound of heels rang through the large house as his cousin sauntered down the stairs. She passed Sirius, smiled at her aunt, and then sank down into a dark velvet chair. A smirk flicked across her silent face as she crossed her netted-stocking legs.

"Bellatrix" he said, trying to keep his voice steady, "Stay out of this."

His mother turned to him, "This is exactly what I'm talking about. We're a family, be civil to your cousin! Bella's such a nice girl." She moved over to her niece and patted her shoulder lovingly. Sirius felt boiling blood and rising bile.

"Listen to Mummy, Sirius." Her surprisingly girlish voice drawled the words slowly, as her dark eyes flashed with laughter. Sirius looked down at the older girl and then to his mother.

"Either she leaves, or I do."

"Now Sirius, don't be silly. Family-"

"Don't tell me about family!" He could feel his voice starting to break. He hated it, but couldn't seem to find the will to fight it. "Where's father? It's been, what, five years since I've seen him? He's too busy off gallivanting with his Death Eater buddies. And what about you, do you ever even pretend to bother with me? No, your stupid Dark Art's 'Book Club' takes up too much of your time. So, don't talk to me about family." He hitched his backpack over his shoulder and turned to the door.

His mother's voice, icy and slow, stopped him. "If you step out of this house now, don't you ever think about coming back."

Sirius turned, taking another look around the parlor. Narcissa peaked from the stairwell, her blonde hair curtaining around her as she stared wide eyed at the scene. He turned his attention back to his mother – she had never looked so old. Her hair was dry and stringy, a perfect complement to her sickly frame. Bags pooled under her angry, hurt filled eyes. Lastly, he looked to Bellatrix. His decision was made when he noticed the cold, triumphant gleam coloring her face.

"I'm sorry," he said, quickly disapparating.

The sounds of Mrs. Black's screams of "Blood traitor" mixed with her hysterical crying radiated from Number 12 Grimmauld place and sent the crows inhabiting the yard flying into an unusually cold summer morning.

Narcissa scurried over to comfort her aunt, dropping to lean over the woman that was now a collapsed heap on the floor. Suddenly, Mrs. Black's shoulders stopped shaking, and she rose silently, walking to the large wall containing the family tree. She withdrew her wand and pointed at the dark haired boy who smiled back at her. "Incendio," she whispered, her voice still shaking with betrayal. Her narrowed eyes watched for a few moments as the flame burned over her son's face, his features crackling into grey, then completely disappearing. She turned and began walking down the hall. Frantically, Narcissa whipped out her wand, clumsily extinguishing the hungry orange fire before it could spread. She clamored to follow her aunt, but stopped when she heard a muffled sound behind her. Bellatrix leaned against the wall, giggling slightly to herself.

"What are we going to do, Cissy?" the twelve year old asked, barely able to contain her joy. Bellatrix looked from her sister to the dark spot that now tarnished the seemingly perfect family tree. Slowly, the giggles rippled through her body, crescendoing until her laughs echoed through the house.


	2. Chapter 1

Sirius pounded on the Potter's front door as he hopped from foot to foot. Somehow his movement held back the tears biting at his eyes. Just as he was about to run around to the back of the small country cottage, the heavy wooden door swung open.

"Sirius?" The woman took a moment to recognize the boy who stood on her doorstep; he had grown over the summer. His hair had gotten longer and looked messy, falling below his ears. He had become taller too, with broader shoulders.

"Oh, come in, do come in, dear."

Mrs. Potter pulled him into her shoulder, her strawberry blonde hair tickling his face. When she released him, she noticed the bag swung over his shoulder. Sirius tracked her gaze and looked down at his feet. He wanted to tell her about what had happened back at home but his voice caught in his throat.

"You know where your bed is." She laughed, clearing the atmosphere.

Sirius could only smile meekly, "Thanks, Mrs. Potter."

"James is in his room. Why don't you go up and make sure he's actually doing school work? Somehow, I doubt it." She laughed as she moved toward the kitchen, "I'm making lunch, how do roast beef sandwiches sound?" Halfway up the stairs he called, "Sounds great!" and continued to sprint up the rickety stairs to the small attic room.

As he approached James's bedroom door, something made him stop. A muffled sound came from the room and Sirius pressed his ear against it.

"Lily," he heard. There were some undistinguishable sounds and then "Lily, I want you so bad."

Sirius rapped his knuckle on the door and swung it open, a smile already plastered on his face, "You horny little bastar-" he faltered, the scene unveiling not what he had expected.

James lay on his bed, both alone and fully clothed with his hands nowhere near his groin. Instead, both hands were wrapped around something which he pressed against his face. "Lily? I got to go."

Sirius recognized Lily Evan's voice coming fuzzily from the object. "Call me later, okay? Love you."

"Yeah, love you too," James mumbled, his face momentarily flushing. He flipped some switch on the little oval object and set it down on his nightstand. "Well, uh, hey, Sirius! How's it going?"

Sirius threw himself down on the sofa (his soon-to-be bed) and laughed. "You are not getting off that easy."

James sighed, "Lily charmed these muggle things, they're called 'walk-talks' or something. Anyway, we can talk on them. A lot easier than owls and, well…" James smiled wickedly, "a little more personal, if you know what I mean.

The two friends continued to talk about James and Lily's late night conversations. James enjoyed having Sirius hanging onto his every word. Sirius, on the other hand, hated it, he was always the first one in the group to do something. He would start, James would jump on board, then Remus, and finally Peter.

"Lily has an older sister, you know, maybe I could hook you up. Then there is your dear Snivellus." James had to dodge the quickly airborne pillow.

"Oh, Snivellusss," James mimicked, getting to his feet and jumping from his bed. "Oh, how I wish to run my hands through your greasy hair!"

Sirius had never wished to break the underage wand law so much in his life. He had to be content in throwing one of James's dusty schoolbooks at him. The book skimmed James's shoulder before hitting the wood floor with a loud thud.

"Hey!" Mrs. Potter's voice yelled from beneath them, "Merlin, Sirius, you're here five minutes and you're already destroying my house! Lunch is ready!"

The two started for the stairs. "Sirius, nice to have ya' back," James said, clapping his best friend on the shoulder.


	3. Chapter 2

In the meadow behind the Potter's cottage, early morning gales wafted sweet dew into the air. The fresh breeze was comforting to Sirius, as was the soft and slightly damp grass underneath him. The past few weeks he had been able to let go and forget about his family for the time being. He pushed back the thoughts of his mother, Bellatrix, and all that had happened. It wasn't all that hard to do, surprisingly enough. Sirius always seemed to be doing something at James's house, and, well, distractions were good. Mrs. Potter kept them busy, sending them on excursions to the nearby muggle village or giving them odd jobs around the house. Sirius had never once done house work at Grimmauld place – Kreacher had always been there to do the cleaning and cooking.

However, once Mrs. Potter taught him the basics, he was folding clothes and washing dishes like a pro. He enjoyed it, surprisingly, and James got a kick out of how much Sirius liked sweeping the cottage's porch. It was methodical, the rhythm sending Sirius into a trance of near nothingness. When Mrs. Potter didn't have them doing "slave labor" as James called it, they spent time in Diagon Alley with Mr. Potter.

It was times like these, when he was alone, that the dark walls of Grimmauld place seeped back into his mind. The hazy storm clouds in the distance seemed to be drawing him in, taking him back home. In an attempt to stop them, Sirius rolled from his back on to his knees. In the distance a figure trudged through the tall unkempt grass.

"Oi! Sirius, let's have a go!" James yelled, holding up two brooms.

Sirius got to his feet, brushing the dirt from his loose jeans. "You're not scared of having your ass handed to you, Potter?"

James laughed, throwing the broom to Sirius, "As long as that's the only thing you're doing to it, poof."

Sirius felt something stir inside of him, a slight twinge of annoyance, but he didn't dwell on it. Instead, he mounted his broom and kicked off just as James released the snitch from his pocket.

James scowled before taking flight. "You lousy, cheating bastard!"

James was obviously the better flier; he always had been. Being the seeker for the Gryffindor team helped some. Sirius managed to hold his own and the two played for an hour until James caught the Snitch in a perfect nose dive. Back on the ground, James stuffed the now crumpled and angry looking snitch back into his pocket. It emitted little bird like chirps in protest as it flew around, looking for escape.

"Oh, don't look so smug, James." Sirius groaned

"Smug? I'm not smug! When have I ever been smug? Smug? No, not me, I –" A crack in the distance made James stop short. "What was that?" he said in a hushed voice.

Sirius recognized the sound immediately. "Kreacher?" The bushes that lined the meadow rustled for a few moments until the house elf had extracted himself. "What are you doing here, Kreacher?"

"Not Kreacher's idea to come visit the bad boy, no, not Kreacher's," the small grey beast said. As if on cue, the bushes rustled again and out stepped Regulus Black.

"Reg!" Sirius exclaimed, moving towards him. As he went to wrap an arm around his younger brother, he felt the other boy tense up, and guilt bit at him. When he let go he looked down at his fourteen year old counterpart. The resemblance was uncanny, even with Regulus's closely cropped hair and thinner face.

"I can't stay long, mother hasn't been letting me out of sight since you left. Even when I can get away from her, Bella and Cissy are always about."

Sirius looked at his brother incredulously, "Bella and Cissy?" While their mother had always referred to her nieces by endearing nicknames, the two brothers had never used them.

"They're annoying, I know, but…" Regulus paused, choosing his words carefully, "They aren't really that bad, you know."

Sirius could feel the same anger he had felt at Grimmauld place flare back up. "Not that bad? What? You've become their little pet now, have you? Having tea parties with your precious dark lord anytime soon?"

"You left me with mother. She's gotten even worse since your exit. All she does sit and stare at the wall, or, when she does get out of her chair, she's insane." The younger boy's voice had not yet changed and it grew higher as the knot in his throat expanded. Tears began to spill from his eyes. "Did you even think to take me with you?"

Sirius brought his hand to his brother's shoulder, trying to comfort him. The younger boy shrugged it off, wiping tears bitterly from his face.

"Bellatrix and Narcissa might be terrible sometimes, but they didn't abandon me. They've helped me take care of mother, even. Bella is the only one who can calm her when she goes on rampages. I should have never come here." Regulus turned his back on his brother. "Come on, Kreacher. Let's go."

"No, wait, Reg, come on. You can't just go-"

"You did." And with that, the boy vanished, clutching the house elf's shoulder for support.


End file.
